Anger can be a very powerful emotion that comes unpredictably and easily gets out of control. If it happens regularly, anger can damage our physical and mental health, cause problems in relationships and at work, and reduce quality of life. If you cannot avoid people or situations that make you angry, at least you can control your anger, and these simple techniques will help you to keep anger at bay.
Relaxation techniques are absolutely necessary when you are angry. Deep breathing and relaxing visualization will help you calm down, and it is easy to learn them nowadays by watching a You-Tube video or taking an online course. Breathe deeply and low, from your diaphragm, and slowly repeat calming words or phrases, like “take it easy” or “it is okay”. Use your imagination and visualize relaxing images from your memories. Slow exercise, like yoga, also helps relax muscles and mind.
In anger, you can hurt other people’s feelings by saying something that you do not actually mean. The previous step, relaxation, allows you to do this. Speak out after you calmed down and thought not emotionally, but rationally. In this case, you will not regret what you said.
Instead of being furious, it is better to face the problem and think how to solve it. Anger does not help to get what you want, but a good plan does. Of course, some circumstances and people are out of our control, but there is always something that we can do to improve the situation. Be realistic and use your passion to find a better resolution.
This means that you should use a logical approach to change the way you think. Avoid dramatic and exaggerated thinking, blaming others, and words like “never” or “always”. Like other feelings, anger is often irrational, and does not give you a realistic view. Instead of crying “my life is ruined” or “you always spoil everything”, try to explain what exactly made you upset or frustrated and what can possibly fix it or prevent in the future. Refer only to yourself when you describe the situation, i.e. use I-statements, like “I feel” or “I would like to”, instead of saying “you never (or always) do something”.
Maybe humor cannot fix everything, but it definitely can defuse anger and release tension. Laughing at yourself or others is a healthy way to deal with unrealistic expectations and failures. It is better to use simple and silly humor that do not offend, while sarcasm can hurt feelings. Do not be too serious, and your problems will not look too serious as well. In fact, humor is a very powerful relaxation technique. It does not help solve the issue, but it brings peace and joy in our life.
It is challenging to learn how to control anger. Remember, that you do not need to fight alone. A therapist can help handle it by finding anger management strategies that fit you and practicing them together. Counselling is effective in changing the way of thinking and
behavior that reduce anger issues and become assertive rather than aggressive.
Initial free session is 15-20 minutes long, and it is conducted over phone or video conferencing